The damage at the other end of the silent treatment

THE DECISION TO IGNORE 

The silent treatment says everything about the person that deliberately chooses to ignore the other - than about the person who receives it. It's usually an indicator or repetion of past traumatic experiences that might have come from a parent or someone we loved deeply during childhood or beyond.

The silent treatment goes by many names: ghosting, stonewalling, social isolation and is a form of ostracism and emotional manipulation that is often used in relationships, whether they be romantic, familial, or even at work. 

It happens when one person refuses to communicate or engage with another person, either through verbal or nonverbal means. The motives behind the silent treatment can vary, but they often stem from a desire to control or punish the other person.

One common motive for the silent treatment is a desire for power and control. By withholding communication and engagement, the person who is giving the silent treatment is able to assert their dominance over the other person. They may use this tactic to manipulate the other person into doing what they want, or to make the other person feel guilty or ashamed for their actions.

As humans we require  - and strive on - social connection for healthy mental health. The silent treatment causes stress and feelings of unworthiness and confusion. It's a way for the perpetrator to get away with it and making the other person feel bad - without looking abusive. 

But it's known that the silent treatment is also harming to the person who does it as well, who deliberately choses to ignore. 

Another motive for the silent treatment is a desire for revenge or punishment. The person who is giving the silent treatment may be angry or hurt by something that the other person has done, and they may use the silent treatment as a way to hurt the other person in return. They may also use it as a way to punish the other person for their actions, in hopes of getting them to change their behavior.

A third motive for the silent treatment is a desire to avoid conflict or to escape from a difficult situation. The person who is giving the silent treatment may not know how to express their feelings or may not want to engage in a difficult conversation. They may use the silent treatment as a way to avoid dealing with the issue at hand, or as a way to escape from the situation altogether.

Whatever the motive behind it is, the silent treatment is a harmful and toxic behavior that can have serious consequences on a relationship. It can lead to feelings of isolation, abandonment, and low self-esteem, and it can cause long-term emotional damage.

If you are on the receiving end of the silent treatment, it's important to set boundaries and communicate your needs. If you still get silent treatment after trying to communicate your needs, understand that it's not your fault, you're not responsible for the other person's actions. 

It's important to be aware that the silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse and shouldn't be tolerated in any relationship. If you find yourself in a relationship where you are on the receiving end of the silent treatment, it is important to address the issue and seek help if necessary. But it's important to be aware that the silence may remain. If you are able to - and if it's a sort of situation you can walk away from - do it as soon as possible. Even if you gave your all and tried to establish communication. You are worthy of obtaining the answers you seek, the apology you deserve and a nurturing and caring treatment.

The silent treatment is a form of emotional manipulation that can have serious consequences on relationships. Motivated by a desire for power and control, revenge or punishment, and to avoid conflict or escape from a difficult situation. If you find yourself in a relationship where the silent treatment is used, it is important to set boundaries, communicate your needs, or walk away. And seek help if necessary.